A Filipino-American Christmas

Kristina Tolentino Fields reflects on how vibrant Filipino-American holiday traditions from childhood, from lechon to karaoke, enriched her American holiday experience.

Musings of Holidays Past

When I was a kid, Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays looked different in my house in comparison to what I believed was “American.” Kids in school would talk about their sit down dinners at the kids tables or formal dining room tables with the grown-ups. TV shows and movies depicted friends and families having a formal affair. Fine china, the good silver, and crystal wine glasses. A presentation of ham or turkey, overflowing side dishes and ever-so-proper gravy boat.

But in our house and perhaps those of some other Filipino Titas and Titos, it looked and sounded quite different. We didn’t have sit down dinners around a table. Our tablescapes were packed with sternos, chafing dishes and multiple rice cookers. Stuffing was fine, but we had to have rice. And who really cared about turkey, because the main event was the carving of a whole suckling pig with an apple in its mouth: The lechon. And it was a buffet. ALL DAY. Cars lined up and down the street because we had close to 100 people at the house. No kids table. No, you were hoping to get a folded chair in the corner or a spot on the couch. People were everywhere. And definitely no fine china. Paper plates, plastic spoons and forks (nice ones, of course, it was a holiday for Pete's sake!). And it was loud, boisterous.

Growing up, I yearned for what I thought was a traditional “American” holiday. A simple, quaint sit down dinner with proper conversation. Maybe Christmas classics playing on the radio. But who’s to say that the version of that “American” holiday was the gold standard? Reflecting on my childhood now, I realize that I wouldn’t trade those gregarious, noisy family get-to-gethers for the world. I mean Filipinos basically invented Friends-giving. With most blood relatives living in the Philippines, we adopted Filipino friends, co-workers, and friends of friends as family.

Thanksgiving was traditionally at our house because my mom loved to host, and her birthday is on the 29th. And she pulled out all the stops and invited EVERYONE - distant relatives, co-workers, church friends, former classmates, her side, dad’s side - ANYONE. And she loved inviting Americans so they could experience a Filipino Thanksgiving. People had to park blocks away because it was so packed. On Christmas Eve, we were with the “Joy Luck Club” – friends my mom and her classmate Tita Amor (a fellow nurse) had made since immigrating to the US. And all were my “Titas”, “Titos” and “cousins”, without an ounce of blood relation. Christmas Day was with our distant cousins on the Bulacan side of my father’s and each family took turns hosting. This was mostly 2nd and 3rd cousins of my Dad plus a few friendly folks they collected along the way.

Traditions

Of course, food was always at the heart of our holidays, after all, food is at the heart of anything deemed Filipino. There were other things I loved about the holidays too.

Before the Selfie, there were instant cameras.

Pictures. I mean, we were tourists in our own houses. Family pictures in front of the tree. Family pictures in front of the buffet. Family pictures with the lechon. Family pictures on the stairs. All the girl cousins. All the boy cousins. All the oldies. All the littles. All the EVERYONE. We were blinded by the flashes of disposable Kodak cameras and Nikons and felt like celebrities being caught by the paparazzi.

Pung. Kong. Peng.

Mahjong. All night long. While the main event was the food, it really was fuel to power up the adults playing mahjong. Tables set up in the basement, sounds of the blocks rustling amongst their hands, screams of delight or agony based on who won or lost. And don’t fret, real money was in play and they played into the wee hours of the morning, taking necessary breaks for more food, drink and picture breaks. My cousins and I used to play bartender and waitress, bringing cocktails or dessert trays to satisfy our parents and keep ourselves occupied. We also played Po-Ke-No and used any extra mahjong sets to play match games. Games sometimes went until 4 or 5 am, with my cousins and I asleep in our PJs in bedrooms and couches .

Talent Shows and the Minus One

We’re Filipino kids, so we were all raised to perform. My cousins and I would create plays with makeshift costumes, recreate the nativity scene or Thanksgiving dinner, host talent shows, sing karaoke with our Minus One players, and play the piano. One year, we sang “We Are the World” and tried to mimic the famous singers from the video (I took on the challenge of Cyndi Lauper). We even had a music group with choreographed dances and original songs.

Our folks wanted to give us every opportunity possible, so they encouraged us to learn everything we could—piano, band, chorus, dance, sports, martial arts, Cub Scouts, Brownies, traditional Filipino dance and more. With each new talent, we HAD to show it off. Although we complained, I secretly loved every moment. We had so much fun, and those experiences probably sparked my love for producing events and doing theater. There are probably one too many home videos of these shows.

Presents Galore and A Filipino Santa

Back in the day, we bought presents for every member of the family coming to the parties. I mean there were presents pouring out from under the tree, sometimes into other rooms. It was a kid’s dream come true. We had 15-20 families, each with at least 2 kids, and even adults got gifts. Now, remember, this was a middle class immigrant community made up of nurses, med techs, accountants, insurance agents, car salesmen, office guys. We all lived well and wanted for nothing, but this showcase of love and outpouring of generosity was above and beyond expectations.

As kids, I don’t know if we realized how meaningful this was. Our parents, who emigrated here, without the comfort and security of family, who built lives for themselves and started families, gave us this abundance that was massive. And maybe gifts were simple, but it was meaningful. We had a tradition where the host would distribute each and every gift to each family member. And we all celebrated as gifts were handed out, thanking each other, laughing, smiling, gushing. And when we opened the gifts - BOOM - what an explosion of joy and playfulness (and paper).

One tradition I’ll never forget is my Uncle Willie dressing up as Santa on Christmas evening. I mean, we knew it was him. But to see a Filipino Santa, that was something.

Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon!

Many of these experiences have come and gone. Titas and Titos have moved. Cousins have grown, married and had kids, started new traditions within their own immediate families. Recently, I finally experienced a sit-down holiday dinner—not just with my family, but also with my in-laws. And it was nice. Different.

This year, my family on my dad’s side is getting together for Christmas. My cousin sent us a text inviting everyone, and even though I’m on the other side of the country, our special cousin bond means I always get an invite when they gather. But things have changed a bit…No more gifts for everyone, now it’s white elephant games and gift exchange for the little ones. But at the core of it, it’s family. It’s been a while since we all got together. I can’t make it myself and so. I’m jealous, but I know I’ll get a Facetime during the hectic family pictures or games. And I won't be able to hear anything because everyone will be loud, laughing, and rambunctious. Cousins will be yelling over each other, kids running around or playing piano or singing, lumpiang shanghai aplenty, my cousin Jon or Fredjo taking over for Uncle Willie Santa. A Filipino TV show in the background that some are watching but definitely can’t hear. And that’s the spirit of the holidays I will forever know and love. That to me is what makes my American Holiday.

About the Author:

Kristina Tolentino Fields is a first-generation Filipino-American residing in the Pacific Northwest with her husband Jason and dog Harley. She has spent the last 20+ years in Marketing and Brand Management across footwear, fashion, lifestyle, beauty and mental health industries and started her own brand marketing consultancy practice. She credits her love of events to her first homestyle fashion show in her Lola Fely’s living room in Harrison, NJ when she was 5.

What is her favorite Filipino food? Lola Fely’s fried chicken and Pancit Palabok (with lots of sauce and the thin noodles)